I had another one of those Westinghouse moments. (They still make lightbulbs, don't they?) I worry about other people's feelings way to much. I am an approval seeker - which is better than the approval junkie i used to be, but I clutter my mind with worry. What for?
    Whenever I am true to myself, doing or saying what I truly feel, I fear the fallout. My worst fear - abandonment. What if the person is so angry they banish me from their circle of relationships? 
    I'm done with that. The wise cliches say that we can't control other people's responses to us. I also am willing to risk whatever a person's response might be in order to be true to myself. Risking is a type of letting go.
    Less worries, less mental and emotional clutter. (Now, I need to check the lightbulbs:-)

    Today I went to see my new primary care provider - an integrative practitioner. He helped me declutter my vitamins, herbs, etc. It was great to bring in a box of supplements and watch him create three groups out of the lot. There are some thiings we can't declutter alone.
    He told me to keep taking about half of them (maybe a little less than half). There were a few that he told me to keep for specific needs that arise sometimes such as digestive enzymes - I only need to take them when I feel I need them, not with every meal. A third of the supplements are already in my multi-vitamin so I don't need things like folic acid, biotin, and zinc. 
    He also told me he doesn't like glandular extracts because humans should be careful about ingesting extracts of animal tissue. Put that way I have to say I agree. What kind of bovine or porcine specimen did the thymus extract i was taking come from? Grass fed? Tortured? 
    When I read The End of Illness by Dr. Agus (sorry I forgot his first name) he recommended sitting with your doctor once a year and reviewing medications and supplements that you take. This was the first time I have done it and I highly recommend it. It will save you space, it will save you money, and help you be mindful of what goes into your beautiful bod. Win Win Win!!!
    (I enjoyed the book - very empowering. Your library has it - or get it electronically. Seriously, my husband is getting bored with building bookshelves. Nowadays I either think hi-tech or Ben Franklin. If only I could store my wardrobe on a MicroSDHC:-)
    At least once a day I use an expletive. In private. Or maybe my husband happens to be there. Once in a blue moon I sling one my zingers at him. Well, I am decluttering my vocabulary. From now on I will rely on just one 4 letter word: love. 
    This morning I dropped a stack of cassette tapes (Yes! Vintage 70's and 80's stuff - I DO need help!) and instead of uttering a whole word using the Fuhh sound i started I stopped and said LOVE! LOVE! It felt good to say it powerfully and with some frustration. I also reminded myself of what really matters in life. 
I learned a lot in 2012. Not the easy way. At the beginning of October I found out I had cancer (an appendicial tumor) and needed surgery. Three months later I am in a much better place - my surgery was successful and my recovery is going very well. The chemotherapy for this type of cancer is administered during surgery so I am lucky to begin 2013 feeling like I have been given a great gift. I am here. I am healthy. My life isn't always easy but I have plenty to be thankful for. Too much, in fact.
I not only have too much stuff in my home (and my garden) but also have too much cluttering up my head and my heart. Living healthy means filtering out the clutter. A clean and peaceful home is a healthy environment in which to do what matters most to us. I took a bunch of 'before' photos on New Year's Day so I could entertain you with my own brand of chaos and clutter. I decided to choose one room each month to declutter. Since we finally ordered a new sofa to replace the one that broke during our moving experience (3 years ago!) the living room is my first victim. I am not redecorating, just decluttering.

At the same time I am cleaning up my diet for what they call "remission maintenance" but I'll just call it the "How to Have Fun with Foods I Haven't Discovered Yet Diet". Seriously, let THEM eat cake. I'll be the test kitchen for creativity with kale and shitake mushrooms. My mom was at her happiest in the kitchen; I could have some fun decluttering my diet and celebrating just being alive. (Don't wait to be presented with the other option - celebrate NOW!)

Most of us also feel overburdened with things we keep on our responsibiility lists. When I was working on my master's degree in counseling they taught us that 'should' is a bad word. We learned to say "Don't should on yourself!" It's true - let's loosen up our expectations of ourselves and breathe a little. Appreciate what we are without having to do more.

Lastly, and for me most importantly, I plan to lliberate myself from emotions and beliefs I hold onto that are not helpful to me. I have chosen three Thich Nhat Hanh books and my husband is on board ( he read him first) to work together to create a culture in our househiold and our coupledom that is mindful, kind, and peaceful.

Time to let go.



    Hi all, my name is Rose and I am a keeper of things. I love books, porcelain. sweaters, and beautiful stones. If only that was all I had to worry about! I also hold on to memories and emotions - not in a good way. 2013 is the year to LET GO!


    February 2013
    January 2013